Sunday, July 22, 2007

The Thinking Chair

How do I describe the past week?

Let's start with work. Work's fine. It was not too hectic. In fact, there were lots of room for breathing. However, I was pretty much consumed by an unsuspected headache. It was really bad and I just realized that it left me really wasted during the whole week. I felt better after a good night's rest but my headache had an aftershock. Not another one though. It's like a post-headache thing- a headache hangover- something that left me really tired for the rest of the week.
I didn't get to do much. Didn't stay online for long, didn't glued myself to the tube, didn't even sleep that much. I'm just lucky that the week's almost over.

Then came Saturday.

It was a nearly good start for my favorite day. But the scorching weather left me paralyzed. Yesterday's heat was like a stalker- it followed us everywhere. My Saturday, in the words of Paris Hilton, was HOT.

Starting the week today. Sunday.

No, I didn't get my "sweet sleep." I had to wake up early for my civil service exam. I arrived just in time, sashaying my way to room 052. But as soon as I walked inside the classroom...oh hell! The room was for heat-lovin' masochists. And if it wasn't enough, the dude behind me was trying to impress everyone by imitating an American accent everytime he'll inquire something. But it really sounded bad...awful for that matter! Grrrrr.

It was hot, I was hungry, and the school bathroom was really bad. And to top it all of, while we were eating at Jollibee, a freaky man sat beside us asking for money. He was frightening. You could actually see anger on his face. His aura was bad...heavy...dark! We were quite pissed because the place had no security guard that time. Don't you think that establishments should always ensure the safety and comfort of the consumers?

My week wasn't that bad. It just wasn't my kind of week. On the brighter side of things, well...I know that I'm still lucky for a lot of reasons. I'm just having those days. You know, those days when I'm not really sure whether it's me or the world. Whether the world's putting so much on my shoulder or it's me who's just so sensitive with the way certain things are (maybe because of PMS). But life's still great. I think it's because I've really come to believe that everything happens for a reason- that God puts us in a position that allows Him to manifest his love and message for us.

Sweet.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

My P&P Fixation

After viewing crichi.com, I was definitely addicted to making my own webpage, improving my multiply site, and joining random blogs (like livejournal and xanga). The thrill was taking over me. It was pretty much overwhelming.

I am not the person you can count on in terms of these things. Let's just say that I can figure my way in e-land...but I won't be the one to finish with a flying color. I am not an expert (for now, I suppose). Looking at some wonderfully created blogs and sites has actually made me feel insecure. On the other hand, I feel very much challenged to learn about the tips and tricks when it comes to layout, design, and all the other hoolabaloos in between.

My mum enrolled me in a computer class when I was eight. My classmates were older kids- fifth and sixth graders. And though I can't understand half of what the teacher was talking about, I was able to manage my assignments and even get an award during the closing ceremonies. However, I grew up loving the idea of having papers and pens. No matter how overwhelming computer programs were/are, there's still a certain pleasure that only papers and pens could give me.

My P&P fixation is incurable. There's a delight in a room full of papers and pens. I was in second grade when I got my first diary. I kept writing until there was no single page left. And then I'd wish that people will give me notebooks, papers, or diaries for my birthday. It was my guilty pleasure.

When I reached high school and the idea of a diary was a little cheesy, I started my own written version of a blog. It was called "The Mailbox." The idea was for me and my friends to air out our sentiments and share the rambles going on in our heads. When one writes something, someone else would comment. It was much like the present day blog, only it was written. I guess that's why I kind of started late in e-land. Aside from the fact that I was very much consumed by my studies, I think I was just too in love with papers and pens.

But I had to keep up since the world is constantly on the move. So here I am, still figuring out how to make my e-life uber great, creative, and fun. I'm under therapy for my P&P fixation but I'm getting a hang of it. After all, we need to save our trees, right? (But recycled papers look great too!!! Ah, well.)

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Hail Harry!

Deeply,deeply (and I mean DEEPLY) in love with Harry.

That's how I felt after watching Harry Potter 5. Rose and I finally scratched the itch and headed to the cinema to see the hottest wizard in the universe. The theater was filled with people from all walks of life- kids, high school cliques, college students, workaholics, parents, and kids at heart, waiting to see the fifth installment of the HP series.

Lights out. Previews. Silence.

A deep sigh as soon as an all the more familiar emblem took center stage. Everyone was quiet except for the guy sitting next to me (he mumbles every scene and he moves a lot in his seat). Laughters were across the cinema during the funny scenes and "kilig" screams during the infamous kiss between Cho and Harry (that was quite long, I believe). Smiles. But there were emotional moments in the film where in my eyes turned a little cloudy, like when Harry saw Sirius killed. It was shot in slow motion and it felt as though the audience was one with Harry.

What I love most about the film is the complexity of the characters, especially that of Harry's. It's really parallel since he's all grown up and his personality has become more intense and complex. Harry's depth of character is more felt in this installment. The performance of the casts is very believable and captive. I also love that other characters were given depth. It's still Harry on spotlight but it's great that he was not alone this time. His friends, together with other wizards, were with him in his battle. There were no big events this time- no tournaments or action-packed quidditch, but HP5 delivered a more emotional (and matured) attack on the film.

It was a big sigh after an almost two-hour Harry Potter fixation and I wouldn't have spent my Saturday any other way. I'm definitely buying a DVD (original only). Hail the young wizard!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

The Blues

There's something about yesterday's weather.

Really, there is. I found myself looking for someone (you know what I mean) yesterday. I was about to take a nap and was surprised when just as soon as I closed my eyes, there was a part of me wishing for somebody. Later that day, Candy and I were chatting and she told me that she was mostly sad for some reasons. Maybe it was the weather.

It was rather chilly yesterday. The sky was dark and the atmosphere screams melancholy. I often remember Rose during this kind of weather. We usually tell each other that the cold and dark days are not too good for the suicidals. Kidding aside, I think it was proven that most cases of suicide happen during the chilly days/months, for example, December. Cold, dark, and melancholic- just the right ingredients for a tragic event.

I usually felt sad during the rainy season when I was younger. No, not suicidal, just a little sad. The "blues," that's how mum called it. There was an article in Readers Digest that discussed how weather affects depression. I read it once in awhile until I got a lot better. It was self-medication, I think.

It's not until today that I learned to appreciate the beauty of darkness. Yes, I still get my post-blues moments but today I know that I am in control. It helps to know that I am not an isolated case and it does not hurt to admit that I went through it. It was a phase and I'm glad that I aced it.

Monday, July 9, 2007

The Lunch Club

I love that the office is just one ride away (but walking is fine,too) from UP. Our tasks are still being finalized that's why we were able to leave before lunch. I crossed the street and before I knew it, VOILA! I'm already inside the campus. I'm beginning to sound like a kid but that's okay, because I really missed my school.

After hugs and chit-chat inside the comfort room (yes, Mara and Candy's favorite spot ;p), the two of them joined me for lunch. Because Mam Candy (I can't believe that she's already an instructor!) had a laboratory class, our meeting was cut short. Mara and I stayed 30 minutes more and then we had to call it a day (although it was just after lunch) because she still had a lot of work on her desk.

I still can't contain the fact that our rants and raves about life have transformed from school works to actually work itself. But boys (or should I start calling them men?) are out of the question, as always. I'm glad that they're happy and excited for my work. Thank God for these people. I'm so looking forward to our next lunch date.

Friday, July 6, 2007

Welcome to the Real World

The next thing I know is that I'm sitting next to professionals, and by that I mean REALLY experienced professionals. Around the table was an archaeologist, a meteorologist, a geologist, a medical doctor, a devcom expert, and the company's CEO. I was the youngest. However, I never felt out of place. I realized that I got silent at times because I was in awe of their presence. They're very knowledgeable yet very grounded. I got a lot of "chismis" from them and found myself laughing several times.

I was the first to arrive and I hope I made a good impression. I can't help but feel nervous about my tasks. It will be my first time in Palawan- all expense paid, plus more. Dad and I were exchanging text messages after my meeting. He told me that he's so proud of me. Dad's my number one adviser. He told me to get an experience here first. No need for high salary, just good experience. I'll fly to Singapore on November for a one week visit. I won't work there until I'm sure that I already gave back to my country. It would be nice to take trips here and there. But for now, I'll definitely serve my fellowmen first.

I really am nervous. From getting everything I want to basically doing work on my own. Hehehe. ;p Yes, there will be cooks, security, doctors, lawyers, and everything but still, it's just me and my co-RA...far from the luxury of home for a week or two.

I'm up for the challenge. But no malarias...PLEASE!

Shut-eye

I thought I was dreaming. But minutes after I regained my consciousness, someone was really calling my name and knocking on my window pane. I panicked for awhile but I realized that the person outside was a family friend. I peeked through my curtain and called his name. He apologized for waking us up and said that he's having some problems. I woke mum up and told her that he's in the terrace. I thought that it was already 4 or 5 am. But, hello, it was only 12 am. I was just in the middle of my slumber. And because I'm one hell of a light sleeper, I wasn't able to hit the sack again. I kept myself busy through the internet. Mum was not able to sleep, too.

I checked ADMU's website, looked for the requirements regarding their law school. I also checked SMU's (Singapore Management University), then SIM's (Singapore Institute of Management), and then for some reasons I checked Yale's, then Harvard's. It must be the lack of sleep. Smiles.

The clock finally hit 4 am. I prepared breakfast. I miss preparing breakfast. I made tea for myself. While sipping my tea, our family friend began talking about his self-induced pain. In between his silence were little laughters. At first glance, you wouldn't believe that he has a lot to deal with. He has everything- literally. And people around us , who envy his status, do not really know how troubled he is.

He's going to be fine, but not very soon, I guess.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

The Full Circle: An Epilogue

It felt like the coming together of four wonderful years.

My final months in UP were something else. I could not contain what was happening. It was all too fast. Crazy fast. During my stroll around the campus, my peepers were usually filled with tears. I just can't believe that that was actually it.

Time floated fleetingly.

UP felt like my second home. It was a witness to my success and my downfall. It was my abode for learning, cursing, loving...living. It was a place for growth, courage, laughter, and tears. It was everything that I hoped it would be.

There, the wrong felt so damn right. Bitter and sweet. Blood and torment felt like a sweet sin...a sweet sin that is so hard to forget.

Leaving UP is like moving out of your mother's house. Scary. Fulfilling. It's almost three months after graduation and it's as though I'm going through a phase. Separation anxiety. That's how they call it. I'm not complaining though. Atleast I know that I'm not going through it alone.

I miss the freaky profs, the weird students, the cheap thrills, the sight...the sounds. Every goddamn thing that UP offers!!!

Oh, dear sweet UP.

Michi's Piece

It took an unexpected visitor and a forgotten shut-eye for me to start my blog. This has long been overdue. I have been wanting (and yes, aching) to do this but time (and my thesis) did not allow me to. However, given that I already graduated and about to start my first job, I feel more at ease and less pressured.

It took me awhile...a very long while to gather myself together and finally do this.

This is just the beginning.